Notes for Clients

Research about what works in helping others shows that the relationship between the client and the helper, whether counsellor, coach or trainer is very important in determining a good outcome so:

Give yourself the best chance of success in building our relationship by:

  • Giving me feedback as honestly as you can and check that we have understood each other.
  • So if I say or do anything you don’t like, tell me as soon as you feel able.
  • If I do or say something which helps you, tell me as soon as you feel able, so we can do more of what is effective in achieving your goals.

Factors outside our time together are important in helping you to make the changes you want and you can help yourself outside the sessions by:

  • Reflecting on the sessions during the week.
  • Paying attention to your physical, social and emotional needs.
  • Looking for support where you are most likely to find it.
  • Giving yourself an even break and rewarding yourself for what you do.

Sometimes helpers make their minds up about what is happening and stop paying attention to what is really happening:

I will be doing my best to understand you and to use my understanding and experience to help you. I know that I will make mistakes from time to time so it is important that you tell me if you think I am “barking up the wrong tree” or being insensitive.

You are the only expert about your own experience.

“Crises marked by anxiety, doubt, and despair have always been those periods of personal unrest that occur at the times when a man is sufficiently unsettled to have an opportunity for personal growth. We must always see our own feelings of uneasiness as being our chance for “making the growth choice rather than the fear choice.”
Sheldon B. Kopp